Interview with Saskia Winkler on love.
When we talk about love it is important that we really understand, really ‘grasp’ the meaning of love. For me it all starts with ending the habit of constantly comparing ourselves to others. If we want someone to fall in love with us, we have to first really love ourselves. Who do you want to look pretty for? Who do you want nice hair for? Is it for yourself? Or is it to only try to please that potential significant other?
If we don’t except ourselves as we are, how can we expect someone else will? If you look into the mirror you have to tell yourself: “that’s the person others want to date!”
As long as you don’t accept the image of yourself in the mirror, my advice is: “don’t date”!
A love story
A story from one of my clients is a nice way to illustrate this. She desperately wanted to find a man. So she took a subscription to an online dating site. At the time she wasn’t happy about the way she looked. In her eyes she was convinced that she wasn’t attractive enough for men until she would lose weight. So she took the decision to go onto a dating platform for overweight people curious to see what would happen. When she published her dating profile online, she kept on receiving nice comments from men asking her what she was doing on this dating site. They all complimented her on looking great and on the gorgeous creature she was. It made her fall in love with herself again. This thought her the lesson that once you accept yourself as you are and love every part of you, you attract the love you need and deserve. When you constantly criticize how you look and especially how your hair looks, others will too. Being in a negative mindset about your body and your hair, this will only attract more of it.
Get out of the Valentine stress!
And please, get out of the Valentine’s Day stress. Don’t be sad that you are alone on this day. There are 364 more days in a year for love! Have a date with yourself! Take a long bath, nourish your skin with a deliciously smelling body cream and relish a glass of good champagne. Only when you are able to celebrate and love yourself, you are ready for a date with someone else.
Saskia Winkler, Mentor and Coach7